JOKES &&& JOKES

One day at a busy airport, thepassengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.
Both appear to beblind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers rightand left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guidedog.
Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be somesort of practical joke.
After a few minutes though, the engines startrevving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness.
They startwhispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardessesfor reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking.Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer tothe end of the runway,
the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left,
there is asudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once.
At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells thepilot:
"You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going toscream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well,

Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him!

But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

I LOVE U

I LOVE U

I LOVE U

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DONT GET TOO EXCITED
I ALSO LOVE ALPHABETS FROM A,B,C UPTO Z.